Survive
by x0lid0wun xx3
Summary: Hermione has feelings for Harry but will he ever find out when all Hermione could do is stare at him and fantasize ?
1. Never be

**Its just a short chapter .. Just to get started on how Hermione is feeling . Anyways Enjoyz xD  
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When I first found out that Harry was going out with Ginny, I felt a sharp pain in her heart that I couldnt explain. It was like the worlds mars & venus colliding. I didnt want to believe it at first but to see them cuddle and kiss and all of those just broke my heart in two. My eyes were practically bugging out the first time I saw them kiss last year.

And now it even pains me more knowing that there always going to be there. Oh I just can't wait till this year is over .. I swear my life would be so drama free. But if only Harry could be part of that life Im going to get.

Why couldn't Harry see that I was always here for him ? Through the years I've done nothing but protect him. Care for him. And he doesn't even want to return that love back. Well how could he anyways when he doesn't know there is any. But isn't it really that obvious that I have fallen in love with my best friend ? But telling him now is wrong. And If I wanted to tell him, it would have been before or after him and Ginny breaks up.

But surprisingly, Im very scared that after will be never ..


	2. Unexpected Encounter

I watched Ginny cuddle with Harry in the sofa with total disgust. I looked away and tried to concentrate on my potions essay which Harry and I were partners. Well it totally feels like were not. I was the only one who was working to be honest. When I felt like I was left out, I mustered up the courage to gather my stuff and just work at the great hall.

I took my robe with me aside since I knew it was going to be chilly around the castle. I felt s shiver in my spine when I heard footsteps behind me. Its probably just Mrs.Norris. I continued my way to the great hall and was shocked that it was so empty. It felt as if it didn't have any life tonight ..

I suited myself in the middle of the Gryffindor table and and put my robe on. All the time though I was thinking of Harry. Stupid of him to think that Ginny's the right one for him. I mean Ginny's a great girl ! But .. but .. I just think that with a guy like Harry he deserves someone better.

I sighed brushing away my bags from my forehead.

"Hide me Hide me !"

It was none other that Draco Malfoy rushing in the door running like a maniac. He hid under the table I was hiding at and scrunched his knees against his chest. He Stared over at the door and scootched in more.

"Maaaalfoooy ?" a girl's voice boomed out. She was twirling a piece of her hair and chewing her gum like a cow. It was Pansy Parkinson,who was rumored, that was dumped by Draco weeks ago. Rumor has it that she was still running after him. What a shame I guess.

"Oh."she said as if I was the maid she wasn't expecting to see. She looked so pissed and aggravated."Have you seen Draco ?"

I looked over at Malfoy who looked like I was suppose to make an excuse. "Err .. no I have not seen him."

"UGH !" she moaned loudly enough to make her voice echo through the walls of the room. She slammed the door shut behind her and ran in some direction.

"Damn that woman." he sweared under his breath. Hermione helped him stand up, dust in his robes was attached. Ichuckled.

"I dont know what she sees in you." I said stiffly.

He smirked. "Well you've never liked me now have you ?"

I shruddered. Well It wasn't that I didnt like him. It was just that he was so full of negative attitude. That was something I didnt like about him but that didnt meant that I didnt respect him as a person. Why I was the one who told Hagrid he was hurt by buckbeack now wasn't I ? I stared at him, his smirk was still in his face not fading away. "Well .. I respected you as a person but .."

He leaned forward and rubbed his index finger against my chin. His smirk not fading away, he grinned took out an apple from the pockets of his robes and smirked again. He took a bite of the apple. "Ink." He slowly walked away from her heading out of the room not looking back at her.

"What the hell was that all about ?"

I turned around. It was Harry who was behind me.

"How long have you been there ?" I asked him.

"The whole time."

Was he the person that was following me ? Wow. He actually followed me.

"What's with all the rubbing ?"

"Ink."

Was he jealous ? Oh gosh who knows ..


	3. Projects

"I took his innocence away." I hear Pansy claiming as she, as usual, chews on her gum like there is no tomorrow. This was why I hated potions. Pansy always snarled and claimed something Draco related. I rolled my eyes over her and glared over Harry, who sat beside me. He was scribbling on his notes which was not really usual so I figured that something was wrong with him.

"What are you talking about Parkinson he said he was bored to death when you guys did it." Blaise Zabini laughed

I looked over to where Draco was sitting in the next table. He didn't seem to care. I mean he was talking to Crabbe and Goyle but not looking at any other direction.

"Didn't you guys break up ?!" someone hollered from up front. Everybody made noises. Everybody did except for me, Harry Pansy and Draco.

"Shut the fuck up." Draco hollered

"QUIET !" Professor Snape roared across the room, his voice echoing through he cold hard walls. "I will NOT tolerate that kind of language in my room."

Everybody stopped talking and focused their eyes on him. He pulled his sleeves up but quickly fell down again. "We're having our project today and whether or not you like it Im the one choosing partners this time."

Everybody whined but stopped since we didn't want to get yelled at. Since we were one of the tables from the last row, we were too one of the last people to get assigned. But when he came to our table, Harry automatically moved his chair closer to me. I blushed as I feel his thigh bumping into mine.

"Oh no. I dont think so." Snape pulled Harry by the collar and his whole body risen. "Don't you think it's time for you two lovebirds to get separated ?"

I heard a quiet grunt from Ron. I would too If I got paired with Crabbe. The room was fulled with oooohs from everyone. Except from me, Harry, Ron and Draco.

"Parkinson, Potter."Professor Snape said. I can NOT believe that he partnered him with a pig like her ? Her jaw was dropped and she was probably wondering why she didn't get paired with Draco this time. "As for you Granger .. go on with Malfoy."

Pansy almost spit out her gum and I bet you she spitted on Harry already.

"But Professor she's .. she's .. she's in gryffindor! And he's in slytherin !" Pansy cried. I couldn't see why we couldn't work together. Yeah we're in diffirent houses but that doesn't mean we can't work on a simple project together. I mean .. what could possibly go wrong?


	4. Walking Away

Being Head girl with Harry was such a relief in my mind. Not only do I get to see him first thing when I wake up in the worning and the last person before I go to bed. But today & yesterday he seemed so restless. I've noticed that he doesn't talk to me or Ron and he doesn't eat that much quantity he seemed to.

I glared at him and right now he was just staring at thin air. I tapped my quill against the table to make noises for distraction but it did nothing but annoy myself.

"Harry are you okay ?" I asked him again for the 30th time probably.

He didn't stare at me just yet for a while but stared at me and smiled. "Yeah I am."

I sighed and nodded my head. I gathered my stuff to go to my room but it just wouldn't leave my mind. I dropped all my stuff in the floor and went towards where he was sitting. "If you're so alright yourself why are you staring out of space ? I mean what happened to you ? You know you can tell me anything and you dont tell me nothing at all !"

"Hermione you wouldn't want to know. Besides .. I know you wouldn't care."he said under his breath.

"So there_ is_ a problem ?"

He looked at me .. stared a different way that I could remember. He shook his head away from me and started to walk away. But I wouldn't let him do that to me. I knew something was on his mind and whether he likes it or not, Im going to butt in. "Don't walk away from me Harry. Im not done talking to you."

Harry stopped. He sat on the couch and for a moment I thought he was going to burst out from tears or anger. But instead he took me by the hand and looked me straight in the eye. "Don't worry about it .. "

I felt my knees weakining and for a moment I thought I was going to fall of my knees. I closed my eyes for a brief moment. "Harry .. Look ; I know you dont want me to know but you could always tell me what's bugging you. It's not like you dont know me."

Harry stared at me and just walked away. Just walked away.

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That night I got all suspicious when Ginny was with Seamus instead of being with Harry. I mean they weren't just together. They sat together during dinner. They went out of the great hall after dinner. I even thought I saw them holding hands. I tried to get it out of Ron on what was happening because I knew something was going on that I didn't know. 

I dragged my body to my dorm though once I decided to figure it out tomorrow morning. But of course .. someone just had to come my way and bug me.

"So what's a girl doing this late of night in the halls of Hogwarts ?"

"Draco .. leave me alone ." I said. I didn't even turn to face him. I just kept on walking but he kept on following. I turned. "Draco .. LEAVE me alone !"

"Now now .. don't want yourself to look to snapped now don't you ?"

He really got on my nerve. But that wasn't just it. He suddenly leaned in towards me and before I knew it his lips was against mine. I stared blanky at him, his lips nibbling my lower lip for entrance. A million thoughts rushed through my head. I didn't know on wether to walk away or kiss him back. But kissing him back seemed to be the right thing to do. But no .. no matter what urge I did I just couldn't kiss him back. I pulled away not looking at him but during that awkward silence I knew he had feelings for me. I shook my head and ran for the door. I uped and walked away just like what Harry did to me.

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	5. Secrets

**Okay so last chapter was 'crazy' as it's been called. There was alot happening so in this chapter I've decided to clear things much a bit eh ? What Im trying to say is that I havent been updating this story for a few days now is because Im tryin gto figure out how it's going to go. But he it goes .. finally [; enjoy !  
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"Haaaaryyyy ?" I called his name for like four times aloud at our dorm. I checked his room if he might be inside sleeping (though I doubt that. Usually in his sundays he likes to go outside) and I even checked my room if he was inside but he was just nowhere in sight. 

I quickly headed towards the Gryffindor common room to check up on Ron. I just knew he knew where he was right now. Once I entered the portrait hole, the first thing I saw was Ginny. Then it came back to me about last night. The way her and Seamus couldn't stop ogling each other. She was all alone reading something from her notes. I mustered up the courage to ask her what was going on with her and Harry because I knew it was none of my business.

"Ginny ?" I asked slowly coming up towards her.

She looked up from what she was reading and flashed me a smile. A smile that seemed so real. Or at least I thought it was. "Oi Hermione ! I havent talked to you in ages. How have you been ?"

"Oh Im pretty good .. pretty good." I said. I sounded like I was really faking it when I said pretty good the second time. But like I cared. There was an awkward silence between us and just as I thought of me walking away from her, I didnt. Instead I turned around and asked her face to face. "Are you cheating on Harry with Seamus ?"

Ginny looked at me bewildered her eyes slightly wide from the question. She stood up, suited her skirt and started to walk out of the portrait hole. I followed her out, grabbing her by the wrist.

"Hermione .. stop it .. "she complained. "Youre hurting me !"

Oh like I care. "I wont let you go till you answer my question." I sighed and let loose of her wrist. But only by a tiny bit of space. "Look. I know its none of my business to come here and ask you that but Harry's really been down this week. I dont know why or if it does have to do with you. So can you please answer my question .. Are you cheating on Harry with Seamus ?"

She looked away and after a brief moment she sighed and looked at me again. "I'm not really .. cheating on Harry. At least not anymore."

"So .. you were ? "

"Harry and I .. I thought I loved him. At least that's what I liked to stick up in my brain. But then .. _then_ .. one day after we came from Hogsmeade .. what he was saying and how he was saying the stuff he said made me realize that I was only a re-bound girl." She cleared her throat. "He didn't acted like I was though. I guess he liked me .. but I knew deep down he loved someone else. Someone I knew that was close to his heart .. _too close_. "

This was all a mystery to me. Someone close ? Rebound girl ? Ehh ? "Uhm .. Ginny .. Im a bit confused."

"Let me finish." she said in a whisper. "That very same day .. I noticed on how Seamus was giving attention to me. Won't stop bothering me with all the irish jokes and myths he knew. That's .. that's how it all started. I started seeing him secretly behind Harry's back. And he didn't seem to notice. And .. last week .. on sunday. I broke things off with him. I admitted every little mistake I did including the fact that I was cheating on him. He didn't do anything so I figured that he didn't really like me -- "

"But whose the girl you're talking about .. the girl that's close you his heart ?"

_ Flashback _

_-Ginny's POV-_

_ "Sad that Hermione couldn't come right Harry ?" Ron said aloud. As usual, he was following Harry and I around trying to look for Luna. He's really developed a huge crush on her. I dont know why he just can't tell her. _

_ "Yeah. I agree with you." Harry said. I didn't really like where this conversation was going. Every single time I hung out with them and Hermione isn't there, all they could really think about is how they wonder what Hermione was doing, and bla bla bla._

_After probably what seemed like half an hour, they stopped talking about her and focused their attention to some new candy bars they've never spotted before. But I spotted something Ive never spotted before. The fact that Harry talked about Hermione alot seemed to bother me. I mean not that I care. After all I am his girlfriend .. but she was like .. a sister to him. Or maybe even worse .. more than just a friend. Was it possible for him to like her ? I didn't want to think about it anymore. It pained on just thinking about the times I was there with them and they were having such a good time._

_End of Flash Back_

(**Note that were back to Hermione's POV**)

"Its you Hermione .. he likes you."_  
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